75 Shades of Telvanni: Shackles and Seduction

By: E. L. Ur
View other Decks by E. L. Ur
Posted: 6 months ago
Updated: 6 months ago
Outdated (Madness patch)
Crafting Cost: 19850crystal
Missing Soul Gems: Add your collection to see the soul gems you are missing.

Are you ready to take over as the dom in all of your matches?

Are you sick of losing sword comparison contests, always coming up just a little bit short?

Well look no further, today marks the release of 75 Shades of Telvanni: Shackles and Seduction.

This deck was sent in to us from FearOneSix, who completely obliterated some of the top players in the game with it - in a row! We couldn’t believe our eyes when we saw that he beat not only Traitor-Joe, but also immortalaugust, IanBits, superthx555, dukemo, and even mattyborch. If that doesn’t give this deck credit, we don’t know what else will.

Rumor has it that with this deck, you’ll not only be able to exploit your prowess but you’ll look good doing so. Not only will you always have the biggest sword but you’ll have all the tools in your arsenal that a Master Dom will ever need.

To start off, whip it out early and often with the big swords of Crown Quartermaster and Caravan Enforcer. It’s all about showing them what you’re packing and this is for sure one way to do so.

Things take a turn for the kinky after that when you introduce your Pointy Wall of Spikes. This is the ultimate pain device for your consenting partner - and a valid tool in any dom’s arsenal.

Tie them down with Shrieking Harpy, Ash Oppressors, and Maces of Encumbrance… And if they want even more, the your Giant Snake should cover the rest. Keep their lanes busy while you’re able to smORC to the victory.
And hey, at the end of the day, they still complain it’s too small… simply toss down your Enamor’s Gatekeeper, exalt, and throw another Heirloom Greatsword on top of that. Your deck can go taller than most!

There’s something for everybody in this deck, truly. If you’re a little bit more freaky than most, head to the stables for Guar Stablemaster. Guar(d) up to keep the opponents at bay.

Sometimes though, it just won’t be enough. You’ll almost be on the brink of falling behind until you whip out the Black Worm Necromancer. The power of this card can’t be understated and can help you maintain board control. If you’re lucky enough to pull back something as well-endowed as The Gatekeeper, you’ll be able to Ash Piercer and thrust your way to victory.

This deck is intense, we get it. It’s a lot to take in, a lot to learn. For that, we have our friend Studium Headmaster to teach you the ways - not just anyone can earn the title, Master of Head, afterall.

If they’re still not satisfied after all of this, hit them with a Dark Seducer to begin the journey of closing things out. Send out your Eclipse Baroness’s to keep them busy. Finally, grab your buddies and hit them with a Nest of Noodles and you’ll be on your way to tasting that sweet, sweet victory.


This deck really allows you to show off your Raging Horker. Show them the mushroom tower, bring out your territorial viper if need be, and torment them with whips and shackles.

If looking at this decklist doesn't make you keen, then nothing will. Play 75 Shades of Telvanni and bring your bedroom skills to the card game today.

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CRyanReed 6 months ago
I'm aware this is a meme deck but having two mushroom towers and sun in shadows with only 9 actions (1 that costs more than 3) seeems a little silly. Telvani has a lot of strong actions that can justify this but the current build makes tower and sun a complete waste. 3 lightning bolts or ice storms would make more sense. Telvani cats paw would be better for enabling tri-color as it offers a redraw and doesn't shackle your own creature.
1 Reply
E. L. Ur 5 months ago
Cards were only included based on their misdeeds. As far as Mushroom Tower goes, I think some will get the reference. Any possible synergy within the deck, or competitive viability, is purely a coincidence.
This is the greatest write up I have ever seen.
r4d1cAL 6 months ago
This looks so weird and appaeling at the same time and I am really confused. You can profit, I'll give you a +1 until I have a clear thought again.
correct me I am wrong.. but...Nest of Vipers for 10 mana... this card can not even clear the table. May be Chaurus breeding pit is better.
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